Julio
0 words.
31 entries. 7,558 words.
2003-07
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Happy Belated Anniversary To Me.
2003-07-09.
Yesterday was the first day of my second year at, ahh, Cerebral Locomotion. In the one entire year that I’ve been there, exactly ONE new software module has been released (out of four planned). This module was released at the end of January and consisted of seven sub-programs.
- Personal
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School’s In.
2003-07-11.
Apparently it’s not enough that I am made to suffer through monolithic config files all day at Cerebral Locomotion. Now I am made to be the Visual Basic tutor to the boss’s pre-teen daughter (I actually don’t know how old she is, but pre-teen is my guess).
- Personal
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A Typical Day.
2003-07-14.
Monday’s are always a major drag at Cerebral Locomotion, being as how nobody I know actually likes returning to that oppressive psychotic nightmare after a weekend of freedom. But today was a particularly major soul-sucking drag.
- Personal
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Not tutoring is a good thing.
2003-07-15.
Today I recall mentioning to Julio after he had asked me for the 50th time “where are we at with this config file” that it was rather difficult to code in the insanely complex instructions he had asked for (I’m paraphrasing what I said a little :). He seemed rather baffled about it, perhaps thinking that asking for 20 sets of six or seven 5-digit random letter-number combinations was a breeze, but he wandered aimlessly away as he was distracted by something else.
- Personal
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Duct Tape??.
2003-07-16.
Today’s Cerebral Locomotion anecdoate involves telephones and duct tape.
- Personal
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I am but a worm.
2003-07-17.
DO NOT EVER TELL JULIO ABOUT A PROBLEM, NO MATTER HOW MINOR.
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Lies!.
2003-07-18.
So I get to work, and about 5 minutes after I arrive, Julio is on the phone. (Julio is not in the office on Fridays.) Julio proceeds to tell me that he needs me to work a little extra to make up for time I missed because of dentist appointments, so that we don’t fall behind schedule.
- Personal
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Crunchy Frogs.
2003-07-30.
Julio is insane! I worked on THREE completely different programs today, at times almost simultaneously. I’d start a task and then Julio would come back a half hour later and give me something else to do.
- Personal
2003-08
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Ugh.
2003-08-25.
I got a !@#$!@# raise today. How wonderful. Julio tells me I’m “invaluable,” “talented,” and that he “loves working with me.” I refrained from puking and said “thanks, I appreciate that.”
- Personal
2003-10
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Cerebral Locomotion Lately.
2003-10-08.
I haven’t complained about my job enough on here, so here goes.
- Personal
2003-12
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Christmas Party.
2003-12-22.
Well today was the celebrated Cerebral Locomotion Christmas Party.. at the Mexican restaraunt a block from the office. I got a toy racing car, two movie tickets, and a gift certificate to I think some other restaraunt. It was exciting and invigorating and the conversation was positively stimulating, especially because we had to confine our topics to non-boss-bashing.
- Personal
2004-01
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Yuck.
2004-01-27.
So yesterday it snows. Most of us struggle into work somewhere in the vicinity of the correct time. Julio and his charming wife Gina, decide to sleep in.
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Yuck continued.
2004-01-28.
You may notice that the Sarcasm section is no longer “protected.” This is a blatant passive-aggressive move on my part. Fortunately I am a fictional character so there is no harm in this.
- Personal
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Not Quite As Yuck.
2004-01-29.
Today was not a bad day in the fictional world of Cerebral Locomotion, although I really don’t remember much of it since I was somewhat doped up on cold medicine. I do remember Julio going on a bit about, erm, dogs and cats for quite a long time though.
- Personal
2004-02
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Bizzare.
2004-02-03.
Today was quite bizzare at Gulag 727. Julio arrived at about 9AM ready to work on the automatic pet diagnosis project. I was quite stunned.
- Personal
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Back to Yuck.
2004-02-06.
Yesterday, the situation at Gulag 727 went back to generall yuckiness. As I’ve said before, my current ficitional task is to assist Julio in completing the automatic pet diagnosis report software. This software takes a series of statistical observations about your pet’s symptoms and then generates a long narrative report describing your pet’s condition and suggestions for treatments.
- Personal
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Saturday Workdays Are Alright For Sucking.
2004-02-08.
In case you were wondering, the ficitional Saturday at Cerebral Locomotion was quite fictionally frustrating, as Julio worked tirelessly to keep productivity to a bare minimum.
- Personal
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Ye Gods.
2004-02-17.
The stupid automatic pet diagnosis report is STILL not finished. Since I still have to hold Julio’s hand as he writes the stupid text, I still have to make myself available at times when he CAN write the stupid text, which is almost always outside of the normal workday of 8:30 - 5:15.
- Personal
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Don’t Answer Yet!.
2004-02-20.
I may have said this before, but this time I really mean it: This week was the worst week at Cerebral Locomotion ever. But wait! There’s more!
- Personal
2004-04
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Premonition.
2004-04-20.
I hereby predict that the next two weeks at Cerebral Locomotion will be as bad or worse than the previous record-holding worst week at Cerebral Locomotion.
- Personal
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The madness keeps going, and going, and going….
2004-04-20.
The weeks leading up to a workshop are some of the most chaotic and panicked times in the life of Gulag 727, and this time is proving to be no exception. In this case, the workshop begins on May 6 in Texas, near The Alamo (how’s that for ironic). All the usual elements for extremely elevated blood pressure levels are in place, only they seem even more magnified than usual: Too many projects to finish at once, inability to decide on final project goals, lowered nicotine levels, excess shipping leftover from the recent major upgrade, disgruntled employees, disgruntled customers, clueless supervisors.
- Personal
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New Meat.
2004-04-21.
I didn’t mention this, but one of the salespeople was fired about a month ago. It was a very clandestine operation. He was there when I left on Thursday, he was there when everyone else left on Friday, he was gone on Monday–his desk was clean and his business cards were missing.
- Personal
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Thursday at the Gulag.
2004-04-22.
Normally Thursdays are a happy day for me, since I don’t have to work on Friday. But of course Julio asked me to work on Friday because we were in such a crunch for time and it all had to be done by um May 4. (Yes, today is April 22 and most of my work is done.) I told him that I currently wouldn’t have much of anything to do if I came in Friday.
- Personal
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Friday at the Gulag.
2004-04-24.
Friday started out fairly well, then everything starting going to hell in the afternoon. I forgot about a major feature I had to add, I ran into a major limitation in VB6 that was a pain to work around, I kept finding annoying bugs while I was trying to use my software, and Julio kept me on the phone for an hour adding more things for me to do and change at the last minute. It was a bit frustrating as I had to leave with a bunch of stuff left unfinished.
- Personal
2004-06
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In Case You Didn’t Know.
2004-06-08.
I may have neglected to say this before, but Visual Basic 6 sucks. Period.
- Personal
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Superiority Rules.
2004-06-09.
Arg. It’s quite frustrating to sit idly by while Julio mangles a multimedia project. Today he proudly declared to me, with the same bubbling pride that a toddler must feel after first discovering how to walk by himself, that he had cleverly deduced that his $3.99 audio card was the source of all the hissing he heard in his digital audio.
- Personal
2004-07
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A Happy Day.
2004-07-08.
Today in the what-the-fuck-ever department, we have this new item: Julio was being a GIANT FLAMING ASS PICKLE this afternoon. I’ve spent the last 3 days TRYING to get a release put together, per HIS request, and he’s done absolutely EVERYTHING to prevent me from doing it. What tricks does he pull from his pickled buttocks today?
- Personal
2004-10
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Friday, Part 1.
2004-10-09.
It may be useful to deconstruct the events of this past Friday, in the event that I should suddenly go on a murderous rampage at my place of employment sometime in the coming weeks.
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Friday, Part 2.
2004-10-10.
I had planned to write long saga about Friday, but now it’s Sunday night and I don’t really want to think about it anymore. So this is an abbreviated rendition.
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Thursday.
2004-10-21.
Yes, it’s crunch time again (still).
- Personal
2004-11
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Long Live The Workshop.
2004-11-09.
The workshop is over. Only one crashing bug attributable to me was found. It was, of course, a completely unpredictable bug caused by a corrupt file on Julio’s laptop.
- Personal