Movie Database

Pet Sematary (2019). Just getting around to evaluating this unnecessary remake. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🏠🐱🚛🪦👹🔪😐 Just getting around to evaluating this unnecessary remake. John Lithgow didn’t do the required thick New England accent, and they made the story worse. Cheap movie scares and unnecessary franchise, ayup. (Paramount+.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pet_Sematary_(2019_film)

A Quiet Place (2018, John Krasinski). When I first saw the trailer for this movie in 2018, I thought, “This entire premise is just a justification for jump scares isn’t it.” 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🔕🤨🤔🚀🎲👶🌽🛻😢😐 When I first saw the trailer for this movie in 2018, I thought, “This entire premise is just a justification for jump scares isn’t it.” And it was. I didn’t buy into the logic at all. They want us to believe this family has developed smart solutions but there are so many obvious ways the internal logic collapses. The number of times I said “wtf why” at my screen was well beyond tolerable limits. Still, it had some touching character moments. No interest in the sequel though. (Paramount+.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Quiet_Place

The Oblong Box (1969). Edgar Allen Poe and Vincent Price and all, but I found it difficult to follow the plot because I fell asleep the first time. 🌍⚰️👺🧐🤔🥱 Edgar Allen Poe and Vincent Price and all, but I found it difficult to follow the plot because I fell asleep the first time. Something about switching bodies and a dude running amok in a red… sorry, crimson mask. Poor sound mixing and dubbing. Excessive gimmicky POV shots. Supposedly this movie was banned in Texas for being too pro-Black. (Plex.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Oblong_Box_(film)

Knock at the Cabin (2023, M. Night Shymalan). I really liked this movie, but I can’t quite decide if I loved it or not. 🐞🏠🏇🏇🏇🏇🌊🤒🛩️😀👏 I really liked this movie, but I can’t quite decide if I loved it or not. It’s definitely the best M. Night movie I’ve seen in a while. I mentioned this with Old. So much of these kinds of fantastical horror movies depend on selling the audience on the impossible scenario, and this one does a good job of it, by drawing you into the characters immediately. Characters are so, so important in horror. (Amazon Prime.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knock_at_the_Cabin

Black Swan (2010). I never knew this was considered a horror movie. 🩰🦢💃🕺💃🕺😐 I never knew this was considered a horror movie. A very surprising amount of grainy handheld shaky-cam in this movie, which was somewhat annoying since I had a big headache at the time I watched it. Otherwise I found this uncomfortable to watch for some reason. Even mild body horror isn’t my jam, and beyond that it was somewhat difficult to follow the dream logic. The lack of variety in the score (or “score”) got on my nerves. (Amazon Prime.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Swan_(film)

Insidious (2010, James Wan). Seemed like it was supposed to have been a television series pilot. 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦🏠👻🚶⏩⏩😐 Seemed like it was supposed to have been a television series pilot. It’s a pretty slow story about a mundane family whose son inexplicably falls into a coma, and the charismatic paranormal investigators who try to fix it, who unfortunately don’t show up until a good 45 minutes into the movie. Very strong similarities to Poltergeist. Didn’t work for me. (Max.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insidious_(film)

Last Night in Soho (2021, Edgar Wright). A fantastic movie in every department. 👩🏙️👗🛌💃🍸🎶🔪😯😍👏 A fantastic movie in every department. The music, sound design, and cinematography was amazing. Some hand-wavy dream logic at times, but otherwise a real gem. Somehow, I’d never heard of it before. I blame the Marvel Industrial Complex. Those blockbusters made from fake-looking video game CGI suck the oxygen out of everything else. Admittedly I’m not very plugged into the latest movie releases anymore. (Amazon Prime.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Last_Night_in_Soho

Old (2021, M. Night Shymalan). Cool “what if” idea, but I didn’t quite buy into it. 🌊⛱️🩳⏰⏳👶🏊‍♂️🧗‍♀️😐 Cool “what if” idea, but I didn’t quite buy into it. Selling the audience on the extraordinary is a key requirement of these sorts of fantastical horror stories. Also, the characters felt a bit flat to me, so it was difficult to feel sympathy for their predicament. Also, it didn’t have a very kind viewpoint on aging, which is a somewhat annoying thing to watch as a person who is, in fact, aging. (Amazon Prime.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_(film)

The VVitch (2015, Roger Eggers). Nice supernatural period drama but pretty slow-paced. 👶🐇🏆💋🐐🧙‍♀️🙂 Nice supernatural period drama but pretty slow-paced. I recognized the references from historical Salem Witch trial documents (at one point I thought they were building to an actual trial). I thought it got a bit too trippy at the end though, like a Stanley Kubrick movie, and I’m not entirely sure I fully understood the character arc. (Max.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Witch_(2015_film)

The Menu (2022). Not what you think. 🍽️🌮🍔😮😀👏 Not what you think. Creepy. Psychological. Sarcastic. Riveting. Aimee Carrero outside of Critical Role. The limitless human capacity for self-delusion. Good stuff. (Max.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Menu_(2022_film)

Freaky (2020). The urge to make fun of the younger generation is strong, but it’s cute. 🔪👧🧔‍♂️🎭⏰😂🙂 The urge to make fun of the younger generation is strong, but it’s cute. Sort of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer vibe. Wish it had gotten to the hook much faster, because it took a good 30 minutes. One of those comedy movies where the joke (which is pretty funny) only has enough material for a few minutes of SNL sketch comedy, but they stretched it into a full movie instead. But it’s got some heartfelt moments and snorty laughs here and there. e.g. “Divide and survive!” (Amazon Prime.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freaky_(film)

The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005). I remember this as one of the spookiest horror movies I’ve ever seen, so when I saw Jaedia’s review giving it only three stars (and describing it more as a courtroom drama, which I didn’t remember at all) I had to rewatch it to see if I misremembered. 👧😈🏛️👩‍⚖️😀👏 I remember this as one of the spookiest horror movies I’ve ever seen, so when I saw Jaedia’s review giving it only three stars (and describing it more as a courtroom drama, which I didn’t remember at all) I had to rewatch it to see if I misremembered. I both did and didn’t. What I remembered were the flashbacks, which I still think are pretty spooky and memorable. In re-watching, what I love is the juxtaposition of the skeptical and the spiritual. Personally I thought this was a better movie than The Exorcist. Good score, too. (Hulu.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Exorcism_of_Emily_Rose https://letterboxd.com/jaedia/film/the-exorcism-of-emily-rose/

Paranormal Activity (2007, Oren Peli). Fast-forwarded through most of this one. 🏠🎥👻🥱⏩⏩ Fast-forwarded through most of this one. An interesting idea, way better execution than Blair Witch, except that these characters remained in the house long after the point where it made any sense to stay in the house, thanks to the idiot boyfriend being all like “hey baby let’s stay it’s fine” while she’s repeatedly saying “I hate it let’s leave” every day for a month. Ugh. She’s literally dragged to the attic screaming, and they still stay another night. Bravo to the ghost, I say. (Amazon Prime.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paranormal_Activity

The Blair Witch Project (1999, Daniel Myrick, Eduardo Sánchez). Brian the Dog said, “Nothing’s happening, nothing’s happening… something about a map.” 🏆 🎥🌲🥾⛺️🥱⏩⏩🥱 Brian the Dog said, “Nothing’s happening, nothing’s happening… something about a map.” I gave up after 41 minutes. Little plot and the characters were annoying to be around. The next day I felt bad for abandoning it in the middle (after all, supposedly it’s included in 1,001 movies to watch before you die), so I watched the rest, and I wish I hadn’t. I can see what they were trying to do, but it didn’t work for me. The amount of plot and character development in this could have been shown in 10 minutes. The rest of the time it’s just squinting at a grainy picture trying to see anything that might be scary while trying not to get physically ill from motion sickness. (Paramount+.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Blair_Witch_Project

The Descent (2005). A movie that I avoided because I thought it would be too dern gruesome for me when I first saw trailers for it. 🚗🕳️🧗‍♀️🔦🪨🧌🩸🩸😐 A movie that I avoided because I thought it would be too dern gruesome for me when I first saw trailers for it. It’s not as scary as I thought (not after playing The Forest, at least), but after a certain point it turns into an underground version of a World War I movie with unrelenting hand-to-hand fighting for survival in muddy trenches during rain storms, with Alien and Predator mixed in, and there’s a lot of screaming, and it’s a strangely similar vibe to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, except with a lot more blood and mud and glistening slime and Carrie-inspired costumes. Luckily it’s too dark to see much, but unluckily you can’t tell which character is which, either. In the end it was exhausting and less satisfying than most war movies, even with Max’s “happy” American ending. (Max.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Descent