Movie Database

Scream (1996, Wes Craven). It’s possible I first saw some or all of this in the 2000s. 🏆 👩🔪💀👨🔪👩🔪😂😀 It’s possible I first saw some or all of this in the 2000s. I don’t remember. I have the controversial opinion that even self-aware teen slashers are still teen slashers, but I have to grudgingly admit there’s some story and mystery and likable characters in this one (and, importantly for a movie, decent acting). I noted that, much like the demon voice in The Exorcist, the voice of the killer on the phone sounds more comical than scary. And thus a generation of horror movie parodies were born. (Max.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scream_(1996_film)

Older Gods (2023, David A. Roberts). A dude tries to unravel the mystery of his friend’s elder god cult. 👨✨🗿🔎🕵️⏩⏩😑 A dude tries to unravel the mystery of his friend’s elder god cult. Infodump to start. A lot of telling, not showing, actually. Just didn’t grab me. Fast forwarded through most of it. (Hard to represent the concept of cosmic elder gods in emoji form.) (Tubi.)

No One Will Save You (2023, Brian Duffield). What if there were a new crop of movie directors who were heavily inspired by M. Night Shymalan movies? 👩👽🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️⏩⏩😑 What if there were a new crop of movie directors who were heavily inspired by M. Night Shymalan movies? What if they made A Quiet Place with even less dialog? What if they made a movie that completely revolves around one character’s mysterious backstory that turns out to be exactly what you thought it was all along? Too many “wtf why” character moments for me. Fast forwarded through the second half. (Hulu.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_One_Will_Save_You

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984, Wes Craven). Not once since I first heard about this movie in the 80s has it ever occurred to me that I’d ever want to watch this movie. 🏆 💤👹🔪🥱 Not once since I first heard about this movie in the 80s has it ever occurred to me that I’d ever want to watch this movie. Now I know why. There’s a reason Freddy Krueger is the only thing anyone remembers from this franchise. Formulaic, boring, studio cash cow. Characters deliberately acting thick for the plot. A weirdly Home Alone vibe at the end. Johnny Depp’s first movie. (Max.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Nightmare_on_Elm_Street

Ghost Story (1981, John Irvin). Based on the very first horror book I ever read (although I didn’t read it until the early 90s). 👻🍜💤👩🙂 Based on the very first horror book I ever read (although I didn’t read it until the early 90s). The score’s a bit over-the-top, like a Hammer horror, which gives it a Sunday afternoon made-for-tv movie feel. Solid story, but a bit slow in film form. (Amazon Prime.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghost_Story_(1981_film)

The Host (2006, Bong Joon-ho, Korean, English). A monster movie with an absurd sense of humor, but I liked it. 🥼🐟🐙🏃🏃🏹👧😀 A monster movie with an absurd sense of humor, but I liked it. Good cast and story. More than just running around screaming. But still, lots of overacting. And a blatantly anti-American message for some reason (well, a reason explained on Wikipedia). No idea why it’s called “The Host” though. (Paramount+.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Host_(2006_film)

Halloween (1978, John Carpenter). Never realized this was a John Carpenter movie. 🏆 🎃👩🔪👩🔪👩🔪🏃‍♀️🥱😐 Never realized this was a John Carpenter movie. Does what it says on the tin … a teen slasher. The genre-defining ones aren’t any different from the glut of new ones every year. Little character development or story. Poor sound mix. Repetitive John Carpenter music gets old fast. Jamie Lee Curtis’s face and voice apparently haven’t changed since 1978, which makes it look like her face was digitally superimposed onto a tiny body in this movie. (Plex.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween_(1978_film)

Day of the Dead (1985, George A. Romero). Zombies with a Magnum P.I. 👩‍🔬🧟🪖🥼🩸🫀🩸🫁🩸🙂 Zombies with a Magnum P.I. soundtrack. The Walking Dead with an 80s aesthetic. Standard “people are worse than zombies” and “military versus scientists” themes. Pretty much the origin of every zombie story concept we know of, as far as I can tell. Excessive amounts of unnecessary and self-indulgent zombie gore toward the end. (Hulu.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day_of_the_Dead_(1985_film)

Lifeforce (1985, Tobe Hooper). A cult favorite from the director of Poltergeist. ☄️🚀👙🤦😐 A cult favorite from the director of Poltergeist. Cheesy. A 1950s sci-fi B-movie aesthetic, but seemingly not self-aware. (Apparently, Tobe Hooper intentially made it to resemble a Hammer Horror film, which it does, in the sense that Hammer Horrors are also pretty cheesy.) Let’s be honest here, if there wasn’t a naked woman in this movie, nobody would have remembered it. (Tubi.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lifeforce_(film)

The Empty Man (2020). Is smoking cool again? 🏔️🌉🍾🥱⏏️ Is smoking cool again? Promising start but then it slowed to a crawl and I fully lost interest in an hour. How did Stephen Root get roped into this? Didn’t even bother to fast forward through the second half, just stopped in the middle. (Hulu.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Empty_Man_(film)

The Hills Have Eyes (1977, Wes Craven). Wes Craven’s second film, I believe. 🌵🏜️🚛🐕🧌👶😐 Wes Craven’s second film, I believe. I never wanted to see this because I always assumed it was shock horror in the vein of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, my least favorite kind of horror. But it’s a bit more than that. Not much, but a little. Decent ensemble cast of eclectic characters in the first half. Slow second half as it devolved into constant shouty bits. (Plex.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hills_Have_Eyes_(1977_film)

Eraserhead (1977, David Lynch). David Lynch’s first feature film, I believe. 🤷⏩⏩⏩🤷😑 David Lynch’s first feature film, I believe. It shows. Positively reeks of pretentious arthouse cinema in the first 5 minutes, which is how long it took before I started fast forwarding. Sort of like a Buster Keaton silent movie horror. Very little dialog. I feel like one could make a 5-10 minute cut of this movie and still retain every nuance of it. This is just a director playing with cameras. Not to be utilized for entertainment purposes. (Max.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eraserhead

Suspiria (1977, Dario Argento). Italian. 👩🛩️🩰🐛🐕🧙‍♀️🧐😑 Italian. Colorful (so colorful it’s more memorable than the story). Creepy industrial ambient score. Lots of overacting. Poor ADR. Extended scenes of tension buildup where people act scared but it isn’t clear what they’re afraid of. Didn’t actually see the last 10 minutes because I fell asleep but I don’t think it matters. (Paramount+.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suspiria

Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed (1969). A Hammer Horror with Peter Cushing, allegedly the highest grossing horror movie of 1969 according to IMDB. 👨‍⚕️🧠🤨🔪🧐😑 A Hammer Horror with Peter Cushing, allegedly the highest grossing horror movie of 1969 according to IMDB. Peter Cushing’s Baron Frankenstein is kind of a jerk. “I have seriously broken the law,” is an actual line from this movie (1:10:43), reminding us that millennial-speak is seriously old-fashioned. Otherwise, I couldn’t connect with this at all, no matter how hard the score worked to force me to feel things, and I’d be hard pressed to summarize the plot. Maybe I missed some context because this was only one in a series of these Hammer Frankenstein flicks. (Amazon Prime.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frankenstein_Must_Be_Destroyed

Blind Beast (1969, Japanese). I mean it’s better than The Oblong Box for a film from 1969, at least, in a weird can’t-look-away-from-the-trainwreck kind of way. 🕶️👨‍🎨👩💋👵🔪🧐🤔 I mean it’s better than The Oblong Box for a film from 1969, at least, in a weird can’t-look-away-from-the-trainwreck kind of way. Pretty experimental and, um, odd subject matter. Not very scary. (Amazon Prime.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blind_Beast