Originally posted on my writing blog which was active from 2010 to 2018.
Okay so I’m a little bit ahead in writing today, so I thought I would finally sit down and watch the first episode of Walking Dead Season 2 on Netflix. I thought the first season was “okay” but I didn’t see where it deserved all the nerd praise it got. I guess it’s a generational thing. Zombies are “cool” with the kids and whatnot. But since Walking Dead is now in it’s third season and everyone is still raving about it, I thought I should give it another chance.
So I’ve watched twenty minutes now and these people have committed roughly 50,000 moronic mistakes. No wonder I’ve had a hard time sitting through this episode in the past. Drive into the middle of a traffic jam full of dead people in stalled cars? Check. In an RV with a bad engine, so it dies right in the middle of it? Check. Walk around in the car graveyard without paying any attention to what their doing? Check. Consider shooting a zombie even though we all know that will bring a million zombies down on them? Check. Not run away when the zombies show up, even though they saw them coming a mile away? Check. Be surprised and caught off guard and barely manage to hide when the zombies show up? Check. Black guy accidentally slices half his arm off on some metal thingy and probably is going to die? Check. White blonde chick hides in a closet from a zombie, but accidentally makes noise, and screams her head off when the zombie scratches the door instead of keeping her mouth shut? Check.
Some other stuff happened but I didn’t pay attention because I was writing all that above. There was a bunch of stabbing zombies with screwdrivers, that’s all I know.
Now a kid is opening a truck door. WTF. I don’t remember the first season being a constant series of telegraphing what was going to happen five minutes ahead of time. Even if what you think is going to happen doesn’t happen, it’s still pretty annoying. So this kid found a bunch of machetes in this truck, so I assume we’re going to see them again later.
Hrm, maybe I shouldn’t have stopped paying attention to the show to type this. I have no idea why these two dudes are wandering around in the forest. I thought they were following the blonde chick, but now I see she’s still with the others. So these two dudes apparently just went out there to cut open a zombie stomach for no apparent reason.
Oh, now I see. There’s another kid lost in the woods somewhere. So they cut open the zombie stomach to make sure he hadn’t eaten the kid. Ewwww.
Uh oh. It’s getting dark. And they’re still in the car graveyard.
Ah! Here’s the machetes again. I knew it! Oh, it’s light out now. No need to be scared of the dark, I guess.
Oh, the black guy is still alive. Looks pretty good considering he lost about ten gallons of blood from slicing his arm open earlier.
Now why are they sprinting toward this church when they’ve been tip-toeing everywhere else. Oh crap, zombies praying in the church. Okay, we won’t run away, we’ll use the machetes on them. That makes sense I guess. I notice they didn’t cut open all those zombies’ stomachs though.
Okay the kid is staying with the two main dudes. So I assume this kid is going to have to use those machetes at some point, since he found them. That would be suitably shocking. Except they’ve set the shock value pretty high on this show already.
Well I was wrong about the machetes, but obviously something shocking is going to happen here with this kid and this buck.
Spoiler alert: Nailed it. Roll credits.
Well that was kind of snarky. Now back to writing!