Endgame Viable

Oh my. I’m caught in the awkward position of not having a post prepared for this morning. It kind of feels “normal” to post every day now. I was on a roll there for a while, on a comfortable pace getting posts prepped the afternoon before.

It’s not that I don’t have posts drafted. It’s that it’s taking a long time for some domain names to change nameservers and propagate, so I can’t talk about what I expected to talk about today. I thought it surely wouldn’t take more than 24 hours, but it’s taking, well, more than 24 hours.

So this morning I’m off to a regular followup appointment with the brain doctor to go over the results of my last brain MRI. I’ve seen the test results, and they appear nominal. Meaning everything’s the same as it was last time: There’s still a hole where they removed a tumor, and there’s still scar tissue where they irradiated two baby tumors, and there’s no sign of any new cancer growth.

Normally I would resent having to drive all the way across town just to hear what I can plainly read on the health portal, but on this particular day, I’m keenly interested in asking if they have any ideas about why I can’t bend my right thumb anymore.

Over the last couple of days, I’ve fallen down a very deep rabbit hole with a secret music production project. I don’t talk much about my secret musician alter ego much on this blog, mainly because it’s been almost entirely sitting on a closet shelf for the last 20 years. But every now and then I suddenly revive my interest and work on a project.

One reason I haven’t done much with my music hobby is that I tend to fall deep into a different world when I’m working on it, to the complete exclusion of everything else in my life, like eating, sleeping, and work. Minor things like that. So I’ve developed a somewhat unhealthy attitude of, “Well, if I can’t dedicate 100% of the day to this hobby I love, from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep, why even bother?” And then 20 years went by and I can barely play a guitar anymore. Learn from my mistakes, kids.

I’m still trying to work out a healthier way to approach it in my old age. I’m told this hyperfocusing is a feature of neurodivergency. It’s just so, so frustrating to have a project idea and not be able to work on it because of some other commitment, like the aforementioned eating, sleeping, and work. C’est la vie.

Anyway, I’ll have another post about the secret music project at some point in the future, because writing about music production is also quite fun. (I doubt there are many music producers or sound engineers among my readership, though.)