H1Z1 – You Have Got To Be Kidding Me

18 April, 2014. 350 words.

So. H1Z1. Another zombie game.

That’s already enough to make me not care about it.

Zombies were old when The Secret World came out. (Yes, TSW is already an MMO with zombies.) Zombies are now so old that you can’t help but roll your eyes whenever you see another zombie game. “But wait, in this one the zombies can breakdance! See how relevant we are!” No. Zombies are dead. Pun intended. They are like elves in a fantasy MMO. Except there are no other races to distract you from the elves.

Zombies are so over that vampires would be a refreshing change. In a World War 2 setting.

Oh, H1Z1 is coming from SOE? Oh that changes everything. Now I’m thinking that if I play it, not only will I be bored to death from yet another zombie-themed survival game, but I will also be annoyed by pop-up ads or screwed out of a lot of money!

Yeah, Landmark has tarnished my opinion of SOE a bit, which was never really that high in the first place. Man was that a stupid impulse buy. (Landmark would be a fun game, if they could actually put a frickin’ game in there somewhere.)

Oh, I know how they could make it new and fresh. They could make it a cartoon zombie game, where the zombies are funny!

No, wait. That’s old too. (See World of Warcraft.)

But hey, it’ll be free-to-play, so it won’t cost anything to make fun of it.

P.S. Dear games industry: Please stop doing zombie games. Please? Zombies are quite repulsive to look at, you know. Not pretty at all.

P.P.S. I have to acknowledge that there is a small possibility that H1Z1 might be fun. It’s just that at this point, it needs to be the absolute most awesome gameplay ever to climb up above the mediocrity of the zombie genre.

Some days later…

P.P.P.S. I watched some of the H1Z1 livestream. Let’s just say that I won’t be buying into any alphas or betas for this one unless they can show something a lot more interesting.

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